A friend of mine told me that she makes compromises for her "Man-boo". I asked "What do you consider compromise?" She told me that he doesn't like to go to "jams". Then she told me that she stopped going to "jams'' all together. I asked her if her "Man-Boo" asked her to so. She said "No I did that voluntarily". So then of course I asked were you happy with the choice you made? Did you slow down then stop or just straight up stopped? She says "At first it was rough, but I did it to save the relationship. And no, I just stopped going to ''Jams"!
See this is where this makes no sense to me in order to compromise both sides MUST come to an agreement. If I was in a relationship and someone did not like what I did then, OH WELL! Even though for a relationship to build you must compromise, I get that. So let me make an example of her. Her "Man-boo" doesn't like "jams" so what to do? Well ''Man-boo" you don't like them but "woman-boo" does here is a compromise:
How about one 'jam' a week. That is only 52 a year out of the 365 days of the year, and majority of the time not at the "jam" is spent with the "man-boo" or each other however you see fit. That to me should make everyone happy (no such thing). She gets to go to the "jam" and he gets his quality time (what a chump).
What she did in the beginning was a CHANGE. Her change was not going to "Jams" anymore. I mean she just came to a halt. From the outside looking in that looks like she alone made that discussion which happens a lot. Women make choices by themselves to "save" the relationship but as soon as things go wrong its "I did this and that for you and you do this and that TO me." But according to her, he never asked for her to stop she chose to and she was upset but he was happy so she was "happy" too. If she would have spoke to him about the situation it wouldn't get that far. Everyone changes but compromise takes time, patients, and understanding.
you are the new Dr.Phill my Dr.JodyG cause you say some of the realist things....as silly as you are you speak the truth...love it
ReplyDeleteYou definitely speak the truth. So often, we (women) do/say what we THINK a man wants, when in reality if we'd take the time to actually speak to him/learn him/understand him, we'd realize that what we THINK he needs/wants is vastly different.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, so often we don't take responsibility for our share of the relationship. It's easy to blame a man for things gone wrong, but the truth of the matter is no one can do anything to you that you don't allow.